Why you may not be in the mood…

Affection is an important element to any relationship. When sharing your life with someone, it requires that you be in tune with each other on all levels. This brings you together in a spiritual sense. Especially when it comes to the physical aspect of the relationship. Women are creatures of expression and so having a physical connection with someone that’s just great, really pleasing to their emotional and mental connection to that person as well. This helps her to feel more in sync with that person’s soul. 

Intimacy is a very important part of any partnership. It’s more than sex, it’s a form of bonding. However, men and women differ so much in their mentality and hormones regarding sex, that it often proposes difficulties in their sex lives. 

For this article, let’s talk about women and their difficulties with sexual fulfillment. Many women claim that they have difficulties reaching a climax with penetration. Women also feel more in the mood at different times throughout the day, much different from men. A lot of women also claim that they have difficulty in getting turned on. How can these troubles be fixed? What causes them to begin with?

Libido

Starting with libido, women often feel more in the mood very late at night into the wee early morning hours. Men seem to be more in the mood when they first wake up around breakfast time, or in the afternoon. This has a lot to do with the biological clock. Men are more aroused when they’ve been at rest for certain periods of time. Women feel more aroused when they’ve been more on the move. At nighttime and into the morning, women feel a little more comfortable having an intimate moment with her partner for many reasons. 

For one, their hormones peak at a certain time of the night because of the positions of the moon. Another reason is living with family. If you have children or if you’re an adult child living with your family, it may feel uncomfortable having sex when other members of your family are awake. This may not even be a thought on the surface of your mind, but it certainly dwells in the subconscious. 

Therefore, a lot of women like to wait until they know absolutely that everyone in the household is asleep. For women that don’t live with family and aren’t parents themselves, their early morning boost of libido comes from the feeling of being more attractive at night time. It’s an odd occurrence, but it’s true. Women feel more beautiful and mysterious in the morning hours because they’ve spent most of the day playing many roles in their lives. It’s during the times of day when their responsibilities have been totally completed, that they feel more mentally free. Women will also feel less in the mood if there are any worries. Why?

Women are emotional creatures by nature. In order to feel content, all areas of life have to be in a balance. Where there are things left incomplete for the day in regards to priorities, a woman will worry about it. That definitely takes away from “being in the mood”. It’s so easy for a man to say; “Put it to the side, don’t worry about it for now”. Yet women are caregivers by nature. That’s why women compliment men so well. Regardless of a woman’s family dynamic, she is going to put priorities first. Female young adults in college, single working women, mothers, and wives, they all feel a natural obligation to get all of their responsibilities done and over with each day and stay well structured. This allows females to build in their self-confidence. That self-confidence is then shown in how they feel later on when they’ve had a successful day. They may be more open to sharing their personal space and body with someone that they love.

The libido is going to peak at moments where there is less stress and worry. The moon’s energy also seems to play a pivotal role in a woman’s libido. This is because the moon is associated with the waters of the body. That’s why the moon is often a significant factor in a woman’s menstruation cycle. Many do not realize that the moon also plays a significant role in the libido as well. When the moon hits its Apex, a woman may feel more open to being intimate. In other words, a woman has to feel sexy and the only way that she will, if she has her own self confidence is from having a successful day and not having any background worries. Is libido will have room to work with the hormones that it needs to Spike. Those hormones are progesterone and oxytocin.

Some of you may have already heard of serotonin and dopamine? These two chemicals in the brain are associated with hormones and are responsible for feelings of love and happiness. When a person is stressed out, they will lack dopamine and serotonin both. Unfortunately, it’s hard for women to have a spike in their libido if their serotonin and dopamine levels are low. In order to feel more in the mood the woman needs more dopamine, serotonin, progesterone, and oxytocin to work together in order to help her to feel more open to any kind of sensation. That leads us to the next part of this article which will help you understand why women do not enjoy penetration as much.

Penetration

One of the main reasons why women complain about not having the ability to reach a climax during intimacy with penetration relates to what I was describing in the paragraph above regarding the libido. For many men, they can get turned on easily since they are already sensitive and ready to go. That’s in regards to healthy men without any dysfunction. Their sexual reproductive organs are external. 

Women are far more complicated. That’s  because their reproductive organs are on the inside. During the foreplay, there isn’t much stimulation going on inside. The vagina moistens and it may get a little stimulated but the type of stimulation needed for an orgasm is going to need to be at a great intensity. But before this takes place, it’ll be important for the woman’s women’s to be stimulated. If a man can say the right things and connect with a woman on a deep emotional level, the inside of her vagina will respond with sensitivity. This will help a woman to be prepared when she is finally connecting with her partner through vaginal intercourse. Afterwards, intense stimulation will help to produce the orgasm. 

The only thing is, even with intense stimulation just generally, a woman may not reach a climax. That is probably one of the biggest reasons why women failed to reach one during intercourse. The man fails to hit that one spot that needs to be intensely simulated. Most men believe that all they need to do is penetrate and continue with movement, And that that is enough to please the woman’s desire for climax. Once a man learns where the special spot is within the vagina that will cause an orgasm for the woman, he has understand that it won’t be the same should he have any other sexual partners later. Every woman’s body is different.

 For a man who has had more partners, he may believe that he has experience simply because he’s been with multiple people. For a lot of men, they believe that they know how to please a woman because of that. The truth is, every woman’s anatomy is going to be different and so what may have pleased one woman, isn’t going to please another. The “G spot” as it’s called, is located in different areas of the vagina for each woman. For some it is deep and more into the upper curve under the pelvic bone but inside. For others, it’s found when penetrating and aiming more toward the tail bone while inside. It’s really important for partners to communicate. For any woman that has explored her own body at one time or the other, she’ll know exactly where her spot is and to have a healthy sex life with her partner, she should communicate this.

It’s another thing that women really do have different preferences with foreplay. Women being emotional creatures not only seek foreplay physically but they look for it through their feelings too. A man should know what pleases his woman in the form of sweet talk or bedroom talk rather. He should also know where her pleasure areas are and how to touch them. Each individual woman prefers something different. 

For example, one woman might actually like suckling of the breast while others might like licking. Some women may not like their breasts touched at all. The idea is to really know your partner so that you can know whether they’re in the mood and what they like for when they are ready. 

Overall, it takes a lot for females to find enjoyment in sexual activity. There are a lot of contributing factors that could really take away from their libido. Insecurities, stress and worry, family in the environments, lack of being turned on or stimulated and most of all… hormonal imbalances. This is especially true when a woman becomes a mother. She’ll always worry about the children before anything else, and it becomes a 24 hour thought which definitely takes away from being in the mood. But for the most part, if a woman doesn’t feel secure or confident at the moment, then her hormones aren’t going to produce the “happy” chemicals that are going to put her in the mood. If her partner has lacked in pleasing her, it’s definitely not going to help. 

Bond with your lover. Take the time out to understand them. This also applies to all of you women out there. Don’t just expect your man or a partner to get everything right for you. Make sure that you also attend to their needs as well. Explore with one another and take your time with things. This will improve your intimacy as well as your spiritual bond.

Check back soon for the next article:

“Why Are Men & Women So Different”?